Wednesday, June 11, 2014


WOW! It has been almost a year and a half since our last post. I’m pretty sure I remember telling Melissa, “We’ll take turns. It’s my turn now. I’ll write all about Linus being born and graduation and stuff” and I just never got around to it. So I guess here I am getting around to it, and you should probably expect the next post from me to be well after our last child is born in ten years or so.

For anyone aware of the goings on with our little family, you know that we are pregnant. For anyone to whom this comes as a surprise, well…SURPRISE!!! We are pregnant! That’s right, WE are pregnant. Please forgive me while I pontificate a little passionately for a moment: I recently saw what was meant to be a comical little rant on the late night talk show Jimmy Kimmel live where the host told a pregnant actress that he and his wife were pregnant and she listed a number of reasons why men are not allowed to use the pronoun “we” when excitedly announcing the couple’s state of expecting an addition to their family. The reasons that she give’s begin with the obvious (men just don’t understanding the pain of actually birthing a child), waxes humorous (crying in the car alone listening to a stupid Bette Midler song), and then wanes pitiful by complaining about not being able to have shot of tequila because of the “love-goblin” growing inside of them (although I have to admit the term love goblin did elicit a chuckle). For all these reasons, men aren’t allowed to say “we’re pregnant” because, according to her, I’m not actually pregnant.

Of course, I was absolutely willing to disregard her rant as just another actress I’m not entirely fond of trying too hard to be funny. But, I couldn't stop myself from browsing the comments below and nearly laughing out loud because of the vehement debate going on. Without, making this a long winded essay I just wanted to say that I feel bad for the women whose husbands don’t use “we,” and I feel worse for the husbands that want to make it a “we” experience whose wives won’t let them. I’m just grateful Melissa lets me, and sometimes makes me take care of her while she nurtures and protects of our little tadpole.

I mean, biologically speaking, of course I don’t have a little king-ling growing and developing in me, and I don’t envy the fact that she has to experience the nausea and soreness that goes with being a walking incubator (not the most flattering term I’ll admit but for some reason I don’t want to delete it). On the other hand, I know she doesn't envy the fact that I have to hold my sweetheart while she sobs for no reason racking my brain trying to figure out some way to fix it, and knowing there is no fix, she’s just experiencing feelings. Just to be clear I’m aware that I’m comparing apples to oranges. Bear with me. What I’m trying to say is, we are in this process together from beginning to end; and five months from now, when Melissa’s begins going in to labor, we will be going to the hospital together, we will work together, and when our beautiful baby girl is born we will rejoice together (although based on past experience Melissa will be so drugged up and tired that all she will be able to do is smile faintly and say, “OH!“). Yes, all of the changes will occur within the frame of my wife’s body, but we will experience the process of pregnancy together. And on those nights that her hips and sciatic nerve are so sore that she can’t stand up, I will carry her to bed happy that I get take care of her as she takes care of my unborn daughter. 

I will never be able to fully express how thankful I am to walk the path of eternity with such a strong and beautiful woman as she. We walk the valley together. We build our family together. WE are pregnant! AND IT’S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I’m sorry, I’m sure you were hoping for an update about what’s new in our lives. I'm sure an update isn't too far away.


  1. I just have to say that I 100% agree with this! WE are pregnant! Because as hard as it is to be the one carrying the child I wouldn't want to be the one having to take care of a whiny pregnant lady for 9 months. Alex takes such good care of me and when he is home he does more than his share of the Linus duties. Not to mention the fact that he is usually the one to get up with Linus in the night because I'm so tired. I'm not going through this pregnancy alone and I'm so grateful for that! Thank you for being pregnant with me Alex and not just leaving me alone in this!

  2. thank you, Alex. It takes me a long time to read the blogs. MY husband seems to always be on the computer when I am available. Then, it gets put off like alot of other things I want to do.
    we love both of you and look forward to seeing the new Great-Granddaughter. Love, Grandma Durney